A Terrible Trio Teaser
by Bright Anarchy
Summary: A magician with a concussion is never a good thing. The story of why Robin is fired as Romeo if Red Arrow has anything to say about it.


The terrible trio were not exactly on duty. They were in uniform skulking around but a mission had nothing to do with it. Robin had the hots for Zatanna but he'd never asked a girl out before so he was spying on her, which was the Bat version of a good way to learn about new acquaintances. Wally and Roy were along for moral support. That's what they were calling it anyway. Actually they were there to tease Rob into a complete humiliation but they were calling it moral support.

Zatanna had noticed Robin a while ago, probably because he kept dropping yellow rose petals on her while blushing.

"Rob just ask her out already she's been making goo goo eyes at you for the last hour," protested Roy getting bored.

"I can't. She's supposed to be working. She's trailing that guy there. I don't want to distract her."

"You think dropping rose petals on her is tracting?" asked Roy incredulous.

Wally snickered because Roy had inadvertently used a Robinism.

"I still think pelting her with chocolate would have been a better idea," Wally chortled teasingly.

Robin laughed. "What so I could watch you zip around her drooling with your mouth open, accidentally catching all the rogue chocolate, kid mouth?"

Zatana waved up at the rafters, a very red Robin waved back.

"If you start serenading her, I'm gonna toss my cookies," Roy muttered

"Mmmm cookies. Seriously Rob how can you not bring your best girl food. I've heard Italian is very romantic."

"So now I'm supposed to toss meatballs, you meatheads!"

"Don't lump me in with Kid Stomach. What you do is you write something simple and sincere, tie it to an arrow and cupid style put it at her feet."

"And get arrested for armed assault with a deadly weapon," Robin pointed out.

When things went south neither Roy nor Wally were paying attention. Roy had Wally in a headlock. Wally was squirming and kept whispering "No way am I saying uncle!" Roy was standing on Rob's cape.

Zatanna ended up knocked out by the perp.

Robin shed the cape, dropped down, had the crook ziptied and drooling, then ran to Zatanna before Red Arrow thought to release Kid Flash from his headlock.

Red Arrow scooped up the cape a little guiltily shrugging to Kid Flash. "Now see that's how the Prince Charming earns a bootie call."

Kid Flash snorted. "When Tweety Bird can say girl without turning the same color as our hair, you can say his name in the same sentence as bootie call." He dropped down and wandered towards Robin and Zatanna scanning for more trouble.

"Zatanna? Are you okay?" Robin asked shaking her gently.

A magician with a serious concussion is not a good thing. Zatanna blearily opened her eyes and romantically slurred. "?ybab niboR"

She looked over at Kid Flash and stuttered. "?hsalF diK, diK"

Then she saw Red Arrow coming holding Robin's cape. She was so grateful to the boys. Everything was kind of blurry but she just had to tell them what she thought. "!dlrow siht fo tuo era syug uoY" (You guys are out of this world!)

Not even noticing the boys had disappeared she sat up blearily, ".deneppah siht tegrof tsuj I'll os elbuort ni uoy teg ot tnaw t'nod I .emoh gniog m'I syuG" (Guys I'm going home. I don't want to get you in trouble so I'll just forget this happened.)

At this point Zatanna looked around her bedroom wondering what the heck just happened. Her head was killing her, so she lay down for a nap.

Roy looked over at kiddy flash. He still looked himself just about half his previous age. His uniform had shrunk down to fit. Then Roy looked over at Robin. He turned his head side ways. It didn't change what he was looking at. Roy wasn't sure about everything the concussed magician had said but he'd picked up on the Robin Baby. Apparently Zatanna's stereotypical baby wore a diaper, sucked on a pacifier was just barely old enough to crawl and had cute little knitted pixie boots. "Dude you just had to fancy the magician. You totally suck!"

Robin offered the pacifier to Red Arrow?

Roy hung his head and rubbed his eyes in exasperation. He went and picked the seriously tiny baby up, wrapping him in the yellow cape. Roy turned his head to the side in disgust trying to get away from the pacifier Robbie was currently trying to helpfully shove in his friend's mouth. "Dude I don't wanna suck. You suck!"

"We'renotinKansasanymoreRoyIdunnowherewearewhatarewegonnado?" Kiddie Flash started circling Roy in a panic.

"BREAKS ON AND CAN IT!" snapped Roy.

Kid Flash stopped startled and looked at Roy wide-eyed and waiting.

"And KF? Just so you and I are clear on this. I officially hate my life right now."

 _Where you think they ended up. How they got home. I can only imagine._


End file.
